When i think about dreams, i just think about the future and bigger goals. I realised i haven't been encouraging or motivating myself to do anything for the past couple of years and continually procrastinated so the future just seems so distant at the moment. I don't even know what i'm going to do, where i'm going to be heading, what I enjoy and i think the main reason behind this is because i'm not personally good at anything. There hasn't been anything i've been proud of and i've never really gotten far with what i start, so along with all my fears, it has discouraged me even more...
That's why my current dream would be to build my motivation up and encourage myself to do more things in life, that way i'll be able to discover something i enjoy and hopefully continue with it. That way i'll also be filled with less regret, and won't be able to say that i didn't attempt or try as much as i could've. Sure there are many other goals like getting my drivers license or driving a car
without crashing it into a wall, performing on stage at least once in my life, doing well in school and at university and yeah, that's boring, but it applies for almost everyone. It's as if through the process of trying to build realistic goals i've lost my willingness to strive for more and slowly stopped chasing after any of my dreams, because deep down i fear that i'll be destroyed along the way, especially if i have to run further to reach it.
My dreams may either save me or destroy me but i'm going to believe that striving for more will allow me to do greater things in life and even if i fall down while chasing, there's only the choice of getting back up and continuing. So hopefully, a few weeks from now, i'll be able to say i've done something more with my life or aimed for a challenge that's harder to achieve because I don't mind being pushed to the limit anymore, it'll only prove how resilient i can be as a person.
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